wisdomfromthesisterhood

The Sisterhood is a place to bring your cup of coffee to. Heck, bring the whole pot :). Sit down, relax, and fall in for a while. No divas or meanies allowed. It's about boy brain, kiddos, food, one crazy labrador, autism and a cat in recovery from a back tire incident. Oh the places you'll go :)

On The Road Again…

on September 18, 2012

So, first of all, let’s get it out in the open and say, I am not one of those runners.  Running does not come easy nor does fully breathing during a run.  My father asked me if I get winded.  Hellooooo…..I am winded entirely and can hardly find any air when I run.  I struggle immensely.  That is just the kind of body I have.  I was NOT born with any level of endurance.  I am not an athlete and there is absolutely NO marathoning (sp?) in my future.  I actually find that notion quite giggly…me and marathon in the same sentence.  Not even a 5K.  NOPE, not going to happen.

When I lived in Tampa I was as good of a runner as I ever hoped to be.  In the pre-divorce days, I had time and an extra adult in the house that made running easy. .Not so much in the cards in the post-divorce-Cali days.  So, five years and twenty five pounds of fluff later, oh my goodness…running has not remained my friend.

In fact, every day of the last five years, it has been like an old friend you are in a fight with.  You think of them every day, on the hour even, and it’s all muddled up with bad feelings.  Yearning for how it used to be and yet stymied by how awful the road back is…and how far you have fallen from grace and the size small shorts you used to wear.  Because, clearly, those shorts will not fit over these hips…not yet anyhow.

So, it’s time.

Time to toughen up, time to swallow the pride, it’s time to grow the backbone and bury the ego in the disorganized closet that seriously needs to be cleaned out.   It’s time to get back on the road and admit my fat, let the thighs jiggle in public and become better than I am right now.  In these mid 40 years, when I am not protected any longer by the “you’re young, you’re healthy, that can’t happen to you” philosophy, it’s time to take my health seriously and not hide behind the facade that if I can feel 20 inside my head then my body must be twenty on the outside…because, honestly, it’s not.  My eyes have gone fuzzy, my endurance is wildly lacking, and I don’t sleep much anymore.

And, even more importantly, I refuse to buy anymore fat pants!  I won’t do it I tell you.  I can’t.  I can’t be that big.  I am small boned, I am petite and I don’t carry weight well at all.  I doesn’t “distribute well”.  In fact, it pokes out everywhere.  Ugghh…it’s not pretty.

I promise to conquer my ego and my own insecurities and get my health back.  I am getting on the road tomorrow.  I don’t do gyms and I don’t do treadmills so my tennies will be hitting the asphalt in the dark hours tomorrow morning.  It won’t be pretty and it won’t be fast but it will be…..and I will be there :).

Will you?  Listen, don’t think I am going to hop right back out there and run three miles because that will NEVER happen.  Tomorrow I am walking.  I don’t have my running legs that.  I can admit that.  But I can walk.  Albeit slowly, it’s still walking and I will walk a few miles, I will gasp for breath and it probably won’t feel great but it’s my beginning.  And, because I know myself pretty well, I will be walking in the O’dark hours when no one can see me because I am little insecure too.

YOU cannot be any worse than ME…so come on…get out there….go walk with me!  And, if you can do it in the day time…all the more power to you!!  You are already a step ahead of me!!

See you there…and I will tell how it went tomorrow.  Wish me LUCK!!

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